LeadershipWorks Parent Community

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Hi,
My son turned 15 in March. In recent months I would occasionally find some "suggestive" material under his mattress. I didn't remove it or discuss it at the time, I figured it was perfectly normal, and if he was "just looking" at this point, that was ok with me. Little did I know how quickly this could evolve. Since his birthday I have found more and more porn sites in the history of our computer. At first when I saw it I talked to him and told him it was completely normal but that it could harm the computer, possibly causing viruses from those unknown and often unguarded sites. He seemed to understand.

I have a 19yr old son who is in between college and a new job. He is not going to school to go to this new job which is minimum wage. He is jeopardizing his grades. He only has 6 weeks left in the semester and I am really worried that he will flunk out. He thinks he needs this job more than school because he needs money. He isn't getting that a degree will earn him more money....Is anyone else having this problem and should I just but out and let him do as he wants and falls on his face? Hard to do being a mother....
Any advise would be appreciated

Thank you

I just sent my 16 yr old son off to Initiation at Valley Ford. He was becoming increasingly isolated from me, disrespectful and rageful to the point of punching holes in walls in our home. He did not want to go to Initiation and by the time he got on the bus I ended up in tears....but he still went and Is there now. I would like to hear from any other Mothers or Fathers who have gone thru this and would like to know how their son's reacted when they came home from their first Initiation. Did you see any changes? Did you/Do you feel like you did the right thing by sending him?

I was a musician for most of my life making next to no money. I have, in the last 15 years, worked the slow way up to a fairly good job. In my wifes eyes there was a lot of wasted time in those years. My son is 14. He has started high school and is activley persuing his goal to be a music teacher. He is consistantly a 85% student. We have supported him in drum lessons since he was 8. He now is playing in a band and they have a small gig coming up. My wife is beside herself now fearfull that he will follow my path of music and bands only but no education. I think we should support his interests as long as the school marks stay good and he honors his other sports team committments etc.

Hello Mitch,
You came and visited my son once a couple of years ago. Since then, he has dropped out of school, refuses to get a job, has taken money from his little sister, and recently has taken my credit card (which I cancelled). He stays out usually on the nights that he has done something that he knows is not okay. He lives with me and his step-father. I have asked his birth father to help and spend more time with him and he refused. He does not want to go to any type of organized program including leadership works and I don't know how to draw the line with him because he doesn't care. I am concerned that his behavior is going to escalate, I feel like giving him the boot, but then my mother instincts kick in and I am afraid to.

My stepson is full of rage towards me. He has manipulated his fathers parents and his father that I am mean to him. This boy told me and his Dad he wants to hurt me. My husband won't take this seriously. I am afraid. Local Junivelle Prosecutor won't intervien, nor will Grandparents or Father. I have no one to mentor this boy. I have No help.

My stepson has had a vendetta against me for 9 years and he is 14 . He hates me because his mother lost custody of him to his Dad and I,due to her neglect and her alcoholism problem. He told me and his Dad he was going to steal all of my joy 1 year ago and he has. He has stolen $ 3,500 worth of prescious jewelry that I have had for 20 + years and I retrieved $3,000 of it but he will not give back the rest (4 pieces). He said he found my opal necklace (part of jewelry he wouldn't give back cause he said he couldn't remember what he did with it) it was mangled, and missing the chain and 3 opals. He claims he can't remember what he did with the other pieces.

My 19 yr old recently admitted to me and his mother that he has considered suicide over bullying that occured when he was in 6th grade. We are not rich and the harrassment was done by the so-called "rich kids. The reason I am writing this is because he has never gotten over the abuse.Since that time he has become obsessed about being wealthy and belonging to the "elite". I believe his growth as a young adult is being stifled by this obsession. He is totally dependent on his mother and I for everything. We give in because we are afraid that he may hurt himself or others. He is always angry and frustrated about not belonging.

I have been a step-mom for 3 years now, and still feel like a complete failure. According to others my 17 year-old step-son knows I love him, but he acts like he wants nothing to do with me. He is rejecting our home (says he doesn't like our rules, of course), and left a few weeks ago. I've already been through this once, with step-son #1. He was 16 when we married though, so the rejection and bad behavior didn't surprise us too much. With son #2 however, we've had more time to get to know eachother. I've known him for 5 years now and thought we had created a pretty good family unit. Now though, he wants nothing to do with any of us.